Top Ten Most Annoying Sounds

Here are some noises that don’t exactly serenade you gracefully to sleep. (And no the dumb and dumber sound doesn’t make it) Peep the list

Honorable Mention: screw squeaking into wall

worst place to hear: construction site (do you actually hear this anywhere else?)

Nothing is worse than being woken up by “home improvement” as your next door neighbor/parent tries to install some new shelving at 7:30. Worst part of the entire sound is the drill spooling up, followed by the deafening squeak.

10.  dog barking

worst place to hear: glue factory, animal shelter, quiet neighborhood.

Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs. Greatest companions in the world. But when a couple of these guys get together and decide to have a conversation across the neighborhood and they can turn a pleasant afternoon of yardwork into a living nightmare.

9. water dripping

worst place to hear: third world country prison

there is a reason why those bastards in china decided to torture people with this shit. The sound is painful.

8. coughing

worst places to hear Class. Elevator. Work. Church. Anywhere.

This sound brings with it the fear of disease, which for a hypochondriac like myself is actually the worst part. It’s like death calling me with threats of tuberculosis/consumption/black plague.

Sneakily the worst place to hear coughing is work. Because you know that in about 5 minutes you have no choice but to shake hands with that person and get infected with whatever flesh eating disease they have.

7. mouth breathing

worst place to hear: class, bedroom.

Its not quite snoring, just incredibly loud breathing. The kind of breathing the big bad wolf had to do to blow the house in. And the girl/guy that you just brought home for the night huffing and puffing right into your ear. So now you can’t sleep, and the night ticks by in the slowest imaginable manner as you keep checking your phone hoping its morning. Or you could just grow a pair and kick them out but we all know I don’t deal with “situations”.

6. jack hammering

worst place to hear: anywhere you are trying to sleep

This is a sound that anyone who has lived in a city has had to deal with. The public works department decides to work on the sewer directly outside your window between the hours of 11 PM and 5 AM just to ensure that you will not sleep.

5. car alarm

worst place to hear: gone in sixty seconds

all you need to hear is the dane cook segment. Also aren’t car alarms a little superfluous? Like whenever I accidentally hit the panic button, I stand next to my car with the alarm going off for like 5 minutes trying to figure it out, and no one says shit. So if some chauncey was stealing my car, no one would notice either. Dumbest invention.

4. baby crying

worst places to hear: Church. Movies.

I think this sound is actually hard wired into humans to make us uncomfortable so that we fix whatever is wrong with the kid. Good thing to make theyre parents feel. Shitty for everyone else stuck listening to a meltdown tantrum that’s just trying to enjoy a movie

3. nails on a chalkboard

worst place to hear: how often does this actually happen? Where are there even CHALK boards anymore?

This is actually the first track on the mix CD I made for sex. It basically just sets the mood off right for a disappointing and mildly annoying evening. True story. Stereotypically horrifying sound gets a stereotypically high rank. Sue me.

2. pen clicking

worst place to hear: Sitting in class,

that mouth breathing, 4.0 gpa wannabe doctor know it all is huffing away clicking his pen for the entire 90 minute lecture. Like Chinese water torture, the longer he takes between clicks, the more you NEED to hear one more. Its one of those sounds that once you notice you can’t stop hearing.

1. chris tucker’s voice

worst place to hear: any action / “comedy” movie

OH HELLL NO. i would rather be subjected to all of the prior sounds at once than have to hold a conversation with chris tucker.

best of and by that they mean the worst assault on your ear drums from rush hour movies.

July 14, 2011. chrispness.

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